Psychomotor Retardation

I, standing still.... the world whizzing around me, by me, past me.... I try to latch on to someone.... one of those shiny happy people.... but they're traveling at the speed of light.... and I, at the speed of stone, am left behind.... they pass through my solidity like phantoms....
I desperately want to break free from this time warp.... the overwhelming desire to move forward has been welling up inside of me for far too long.... I try to concentrate all of that desire into one foot, so that perhaps, whatever iota of strength I have left in me can take that first step to finally propel me into the mix....
Instead, whatever iota of strength I have left escapes through my pores and dissipates into the ether.... as does my desire, once again, to move....

I refuse to be defeated.... especially by my own self....
I well up again all the desire I can muster.... I try to concentrate all of that desire into one foot, so that perhaps, whatever iota of strength I have left in me can take that first step to finally propel me into the mix....
escapes.... dissipates.... refuses....
I'm so retarded.
TECHNORATI TAGS: grand central terminal during rush hour, new york city